"Jack of All Trades, Master of None..."

This is what a fellow ward member said in his talk a couple weeks ago and for some reason I can't get it out of my head. It might be because it describes me perfectly.

I've grown accustomed to the notion that I am good at pretty much everything, but not excellent at anything. I'm pretty good at math, science, art, music, sports, etc. but I'm not really outstanding in any of those subjects.

This has placed me in somewhat of a predicament when it comes to choosing my major. Because I'm good at most things and I enjoy almost everything, the choice comes down to just choosing something. Pretty easy, right? But this also brings its own problems in that I may or may not be super good at it, and thereby spending all my days being mediocre at whatever I choose for a career and spending all my whole life thinking that maybe there is something out there that I am super good at. Who's to say there's not, right?

The talk the young man gave in church was on commitment. I never saw myself as having a commitment problem, but looking back on my life, I realize that maybe I do. As I recall my life I don't know that I've ever truely committed to anything. Not a single thing.

I guess now that I really think about it, I have committed to somethings:

1. The Gospel
2. Friends
3. Family
4. Billy (somewhat of a mistake)
5. Skiing (definitely not a mistake)
   

But as far as a particular skill or a school subject, I haven't truely committed to anything. I think I'm scared. I'm scared that I will be so sucked into something that I can't get out of it. I'm scared that I will spend my life committed to something and find out that it isn't what I thought it was; that I was wrong.

I think I should start making commitments. Even if I start with just one: my major. I've sort of half-committed because for one thing, it's a big decision and for another thing, I don't know if it's exactly right. But whatever the case, if I change or if I stay, I need to commit. Because as we commit to things we make structural supports to build our lives upon. This provides us with something to lean on in times of affliction or distress. Choosing not to commit is choosing to stand solitary and alone.

I'm tired of being alone.